I hate when my alcoholic mother psychically and verbally abuses me and everyone else in the family won't stand up or help me. How my parents won't even sleep in the same bed, and constantly fight. I don't even know my own mother, half the time she's sleeping and the other half she is drunk telling me how much I don't deserve to live or how disgusting I am, that I should just die. My father didn't even want me, he wanted me aborted. Or that my sister can't control her anger and starts with my alcoholic drunk mother and leaves me with the mess because my dad goes off to bed and never once cared that I was crying, or when I had extreme panic attacks that I would scratch and bit myself till I bled, so I eventually learned I could only trust myself and eventually I became numb. My aunts and uncles and cousins don't even want me, because of my mother and they didn't even have the decency to call me when I went through all my surgeries, because they don't love or want me. It hurts me that I have a disease that will be with for the rest of my life and will always hurt me and that I've through over 10 surgries and each time I go to the doctor I never know if I'm going to be put under the scapel again. Amd how scars are all over me and everytime some sees me they give me weird look, sometimes I wish I was invisble. I hate how I'm so messed up that the only way  I can feel is by taking pills and getting addicted to it. And at last I hate how weak I am for not beingable to fix my problems, my life. But I'm just a normal girl you'll seeing walking by you with a fake smile that looks like she doesn't have a care in the world.