Peegly’s Share-your-feelings Service RSS

Tears Don't Fall

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 03:49:44 +0100

22 years of life, watching others sink away. In the last two years I have seen more death than anyone should ever have to see. August 14th 2010 I walked into my best friend's(considered brothers) apartment to find him staring at me with a bullet hole in the middle of his face. At 21 years old the one person I wasn't afraid to talk to took his life. I can still smell the gunpowder from write before entering the room. It turned my whole world black and white. And since then my closest family and friends are leaving this world. Leaving me alone to fear who's next. When I ran out of his apartment that day all I could do was throw myself to the pavement and scream. I screamed for an hour. When I could finally see the world around me...There was a crowd around me. Watching my pain. watching my anguish. My wife and son staring, scared not knowing what to do. I never wanted to hurt anyone the way I hurt to see my hero fallen. so I kept it all in, not intentionally, almost insictivley to protect those around me. I can't have my hurt be theirs. I've tried to stop this. I've tried to cry. But nothing comes out when anybody is around. My damn instincts to protect them are killing me. And when I finally break down cuz I can't do it anymore, I feel like I'm doing something wrong, like I'm commiting a grand sin to those I love. I just want to cry again. On my wife's shoulder, to my friends. I want people to know how I really feel. I love everyone and hate myself cuz no one knows the real me. I just want to cry. And that's what I'm doing now. I'm crying. Crying for help. somebody, anybody who has just a second please help me. because I'm too busy helping the one's I love to help myself. Please somebody help.

Hoping a better day tomorrow

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 14:26:53 +0100

I had a quarrel with my mom and we have not been talking for a week already. It hurts me so much when she treats me like an enemy.
I can't talk about this to anyone, if only there's a place for me to cry out loud.

Someone else in the mirror

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 05:40:59 +0100

Sometimes you need a frightening reminder of when you seem to be who you are not. Like what I just experienced. I've noticed I've been acting different. Am I just not a good person? Is that why I decided to run away sinking into my lonely bath tub, razor in hand? Is that why I bled so much when I just made little scratches. Is that why, when I got out of the bloody bath, i noticed in the foggy mirror, me, with pale white eyes, not my normal browns. What's happened? I'm sorry. I know I promised I wouldn't cut. I'm sorry

Played heart

Sat, 10 Dec 2011 23:24:50 +0100

I dont know why I'm doing this to be honest, umm okay Ive had my fair share of relationships but my last one broke my very core I feel that I manipulated her I don't know I was just scared, scared that I would be a bad boyfriend so I became jealous I only saw her once a month and in the end she broke up with me for someone else, its been 4 years now through that period there was one girl who I just saw for the beautiful woman she was so confident, funny, just everything about her shined and I don't know what happened we were getting on so well the first girl I had real trust and love for but then she up and left without a word. Still I think about her and feel that way its been a year and still nothing. I'm 17 now and went to a concert my friend was in, cheesy but she sang all I want for Christmas everytime pointing and staring at me, I've had mixed feelings for her but this this just played on my heart so bad she seems so intrested sometimes then just ignores me, I'm 17 I'm still growing up and this this just messes with me I just want to tell her how I feel but then she seems like shes so distant to me entangled in other guys I tried to move on but it was that nught sych emotion and passion I just don't know wether to believe she couldn't see me through the lights but it can't be right surely its not. My hearts being tossed around plagued with worry and I can't sleep just put me down and tell me how you feel please I think I'm falling for you again

Good deeds?

Thu, 24 Nov 2011 12:23:12 +0100

People say good deeds are good. But I just don't seem to understand the phrase. It is almost christmas soon and both my brother and mother ask me to wrap presents for christmas or for birtdays for their friends.But every single time I do so they are very unappreciative.When I wrapped a present for my brother for hime so that he can give his friend, he was not happy with my wrapping and said that I wasted his wrapper when I have put so much effort into wrapping it. My mother wanted to wrap a gift for her colleague for a christmas present. I picked a nice wrapper with presents on it and wrapped it, then she said that she wanted a wrapper that had the words christmas on it, not just a normal wrapper like that.(But isn't a wrapper with many presents feel christmasy already?)So I had to rewrap the present,with her sitting right beside me,and when I was almost done with it, she left the room. After I finished,I waited,and she didn't come to claim the present, so I gave it to her personally, and she didn't say thank you after that. I told her that she should, but she claimed that she already said so.(But is it that hard to say it once more when you have gotten what you want?).After that I was very angry and told her not to ask anybody to ask me to wrap a present, cause nobody appreciates, you can do it yourself, and she starts shouting at me instead, repetitivly saying she said thank you. I should not do such thing for them anymore,its not worth it and nobody appreciates...

What's Going On And Please Help Me

Sun, 13 Nov 2011 15:21:03 +0100

i have this friend which is really mean and he was just really mean to mean and once he asked me to do something and i didnt like it and i said no but he kept asking me and after a while i just did it because i want him to be happy and i just didnt want him to be such an ass to me anymore and i feel really guilty about it but i didnt tell him and anyway he is still acting like an ass and its driving me crazy and he is like making me cry like everyday and i dont know what to do i keep telling myself i have to talk to him and i will but i just dont i dont know why im just scared... i dont know what to do please help me... (and what i did wasn't sex)

How I Feel

Sun, 13 Nov 2011 15:16:06 +0100

I feel like no one loves me except God My family barely love me They just love my sister they treat me like i'm worthless and im sick of it they my parents always ask me why im not like my sister but they don't know who she really is she is such a bitch honestly she is but i love her but im so sick of everyone loving her and no one giving a crap about me :( the other day 2 of my close friends came up to me and were like hi how is ur sister and it made me feel like crap because everyone does that and i didnt need them to like do that to me too :( and i just need a friend that wont back stab me or treat me like crap all the time unless they want something from me :( honestly i love everyone i care about everyone they cant even imagine how much i do it's just that they dont care about me :( and i have pretty much done everything i could to try to make them happy but it's just never enough it never is :( i just want to be loved and cared about by people the same way as i care about them :( and my parents r just stupid they wont let me go out and we always fight like all the time and im like not allowed to have another feeling than happiness and i dont get why its like if im sad i get in trouble for being sad what the hell is that and if i try to talk to them they just get pissed so i cant share my feeling with them and my friends are just in their own world they dont get it and wouldn't i tried talking to them about my parents being idiots but they dont get that either and i dont know who r my friends anymore dont know if i have one :( what should i do

Who?

Sat, 05 Nov 2011 11:21:46 +0100

there are two people that i still need in my life,which are quarreling.who should I choose...what should I do..and doing nothing won't help.I am in a condition now which is the same meaning as a chinese idiom, zuo you wei nan..

My feelings

Fri, 04 Nov 2011 05:18:59 +0100

I feel so lonely,no one understands me.I don't have the right to cry and have to hide myself in order to. I feel I am a burden to my family.I get bullied a lot in school, both verbally and physically.But telling my family members won't help, because they don't understand.Telling them will make me feel worse.I have to keep my depressions to myself.But lukily I found this place to let out my sorrow.If not I think that someday I will not be able to take it and blow up. But I still feel depressed,I wish I could die,I wish I didn't even exist.This way, the people around me would have lived a happier life.I don't feel that there is any meaning or reason for me to live.I don't dare to die, but I feel I'm sort of living for nothing...

Friends

Wed, 28 Sep 2011 08:53:37 +0100

My bestfriend and I have been bestfriends since 3rd grade.... I really miss her because she's in a different class, now she's hanging out more with our bestfriends since 4th grade more.... I just want to hang out with her more now because we are about to graduate..... I just hope we get to hangout more soon.....