Peegly’s Share-your-feelings Service RSS

I feel useless

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 00:27:10 +0100

I feel so useless at my new job! it's my first day and i can't do anything right! I can't take orders and had to ask people for help...although the boss didn't mind because it's my first day, but i feel so useless and i feel that i can't do anything right...i'm planning to quit...i don't know if i should do that...i really need the money for college...but the job is overwhelming and i kept on troubling others around me...i don't know what to do...i always feel like crying...please help...

Fear

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 20:19:42 +0100

i am afraid of losing you
i am afraid of what might happen to us
i am afraid of what you had said
i am afraid of you giving up on me
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natatakot ako sa mga sinabi mo na ayaw mo na mageffort na makipagkita sakin.. kng mrn ka ppnthan hnd ako kndi ibang tao.. sana mabago na lahat sana panaginip lng to
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fuck why is the world unfair!

Highschool

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 06:24:53 +0100

I am going up to my high school tomorrow for transfer day... I dont know what to expect...
I am the sort of kid that will get bullied...
I have Blonde hair so i get the constant blonde remarks.
I have Over-sized teeth so i get called bucky :/

Anyone got any advice or Anyone know what i should expect?

Normal

Thu, 04 Nov 2010 16:42:03 +0100

I'm at home now..... after party and 3 days 2 nights with friends.
Sure... in front of your friends, you will be pressured. Don't know will they desert you or leave you because you done something that will made them look weird in front of 3rd parties.

But yea, this should be a pressure that is nothing compared to the previous one I have from work. Well, I just started socializing and having friends, that's why I am not used to pressure with friends.

Well, 1 of the major stuff is taking photos with them. I don't camwhore, but I enjoy taking pictures with friends. But my friends love camwhoring, it's fine and okay with me. I just get freak out a bit for not being able to put up cool poses like my friends for pictures.

I knew that I socialized too much. Humans sometimes need some space and time to be alone. I'm now alone, but this isn't the time to do stuff I usually do when I'm alone. Sure, I'm happy being with them and able to tell whatever problems I am facing with them. However, you know...... this isn't the true happiness. True happiness come from Lord Jesus. We always desire to become the main characters when we're with friends, we wouldn't like being secondary characters. That's how selfish we are as a human. But I'm gonna excrete this selfish thought in my mind.

I always crave for friends and ask God for it. I thought life would be better...... yes! It is better. But you know, when you let it become the main core in your life......... seriously, having no friends except God is better than having friends but no God. You will seriously feel more sad and hurt in your life without Jesus.

Now..... it seems like God gave me the key to do whatever I want. I'm like a boss now, I'm wanted in almost anywhere. I get to chose which path I want to go, what kind of friends I want, what I desired in my life... but you know....... I don't want the key anymore. I going to give it back to Lord Jesus. I learned a lot of human opinions and how my friends see stuff in social life which I never knew, and especially the mistake my friends made. 1 of the mistakes which I'm now fully aware is Love.

I realized I shouldn't couple, and seriously I gotta let God choose a wife for me. I shouldn't go for girls based on my feelings, and keep my first kiss and virginity for my future wife. Of course, everyone couldn't accept WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GOD GIVE ME AN UGLY WIFE OR HUSBAND! So, as humans, we decided to choose it ourselves.

But my friends, they chose their own love life. In the end they got their heart-broken. Sure, they do look cool and people are jealous at them when they're in a relationship. They sure do look lucky to have a hot bf or gf..... they sure are lucky to touch bodies of opposite sex which as a human, we are craving for it like a mad dog. I'm not living in US, but through internet I knew that teenagers lose their virginity before marriage. Teenagers over there think that it's normal to lost their virginity before marriage, you're not cool if you are still a virgin. But I would like to tell you that, there are more teenagers outside there that are still virgins! So, save it for your future wife. Honor her, show her that you love her before you even know her.

Yea, try to keep as much as possible for your future wife. Your first kiss, your first time holding hands with girls(I don't mean playing games with opposite sex cannot hold her hand, but holding hands with the intention of lusting) and of course, your virginity. Start honoring your husband/wife right now, not when you're married. They will surely love you because you have done so much for them in your life before you knew them.

Conclusion: Life is seriously meaningless without Lord Jesus Christ. Have faith in him no matter what happens, humans are too small to know what is God thinking and doing.

Don't want to miss things again

Fri, 01 Oct 2010 04:00:01 +0100

I'm sad and I feel guilty. My dad, mom, and I are going to thailand during winter break. we leave 3 days before school gets out. junior year, ap and honors classes; i am already dreading making up and missing work. I feel sad about missing getting my drivers license on the day I was supposed to (i'll have been in Thailand for a day already), missing New Years with all my friends but mostly Christmas with family and friends. I want to see other people than my parents in my life, as much as i love them. i want to spend more time with my half-sister, aunt, and my one cousin. I have not been home for Christmas since 2006 and at 16 years old I just feel like I'm losing my family christmas experiences, because I am sure that my parents only celebrate the whole tradition because of me. my mom's from thailand, so they don't do anything, and my dad gave up religious stuff after going to catholic school as a child. we stopped getting trees when i was in fourth grade.
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I feel guilty about this because i know so many people would jump at the chance to travel, and I've definitely been spoiled with trips. I'm at the point where going to Thailand another time just exhausts me when i think of all the catch up i have to do-- it's as if time stops while i'm there yet flies back at home. :( We are going because my dad has to have a medical check up. i feel even more selfish that i'm not wanting to do everything in my power to preserve his health. he was laid off a week ago.
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i'm just sad now and i feel it's for a stupid reason. so i feel bad about feeling sad. like i'm very shallow and superficial. should be grateful for everything and i am yet feel like i'm doing a horrible job at it. people have worse problems but everyone needs to complain and get stuff out so they can stay light and keep on living life.

What's up, people?

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 10:07:13 +0100

Where has Russian Piglia? I ahue

I hate kids but he'll do anything to have them.

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 23:57:27 +0100

I absolutely cannot stand children. I'm not sure what it is about them but just the sight of a newborn makes me feel ill. Once they learn to walk they are even more of a threat to my emotional stability. When I am standing near one I think about how easy it would be to make it fall over. I'm not at all a violent person. I would never harm a fly, but when it comes to children hatred and nausea consumes me. Early on in life I swore I would never have children and I still hold strong to that, but here's my nagging problem.

I'm absolutely head-over-heels in love. I can't see myself without him. We are engaged and have been together for quite some time. He was my childhood crush, the guy I used to daydream about. I know he feels the same about me but there's one little thing that sets us apart; children. He knows how I feel about them. He has known since before we even started dating. I know how he feels about them but he tells me that he "loves me more than a possible baby." Now if that were the case, I wouldn't have a huge problem, but this is what he told me last night.
"I know you don't want to have kids, and you don't have to but I'm going to have one no matter what. It's always been my dream in life to have a child and raise them better than I was raised."
DRAMA ALERT!

I don't know where to go from there! He had to leave at that point so I got him to get out of my car and I sped home to think about what he said and cry myself to sleep. I have never cried myself to sleep for as long as I can remember. I kept asking myself, "what does that mean?", "Does her want to get a surrogate mother and then raise the child himself?" That won't happen with me around. He always tells me that nothing could make him leave me, but that just looks like he's shoving me out the door. I can't be with someone who doesn't respect my feelings, but it would tear me apart not to be with him. Even if he wanted to donate his sperm and have visitation rights, that would make me feel like shit and hearing him talk about said child would push me away even more. Our relationship would completely fall apart. I have a feeling he doesn't listen to me when I explain why I don't want them. He thinks I'm afraid of the pregnancy and childbirth itself. Afraid of the pain and the struggle, when in reality I'm afraid of altering my lifestyle. Giving up a life I love for something I have never wanted. I'm young, yes, but I'm successful. He on the other-hand, is not. I'm 5 years younger than him. I've finished school, I have an amazing career and I can support myself. I have always known what I have wanted out of life, and he's still in college trying to figure out what he's going to do for a living, yet he's still set on procreation.

The worst thing about all of this is that I believe that he would make a horrible father. I see him with his little brother and sister. I have never seem him act right with them. He yells at them for being what they are; kids. He lectures them to the point where they look like they might cry and then he makes them give him a hug. All the while, I'm sitting in the background looking apologetic! This is me! I hate kids, but when they are treated like that I want to protect them. I want to tell him to calm down. I want to tell him how he acts and comes across to others, but I can't because then I'll get lectured about how I don't know how to speak to children because I "hate them, remember?"

It's quite obvious how torn I am. I don't know what to do and I feel like it's a fist for me. We had absolutely no problems like this until last night and I'm stunned into silence. I feel as if I can't talk to him but I know I should.

Should I break my silence and tell him why I sound so depressed? Or should I just let his childish dream die away? That's what I really think it is; a dream. :(

Yet despite that knowledge, I still fear losing him.

My dad

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:36:02 +0100

I have an unresolved problem with my dad. It's been there hiding for quite a while now. We got into serious arguments about relationships (he highly disapproved of a boy I was seeing) last year. I was able to see that this boy is not worth of my time. But every since then, my dad and I stopped talking. Sometimes we talk if it's absolutely necessary or an emergency. However, 95 percent of the time, we don't talk to each other at all. I don't know how to fix this because I'm too scared. I don't feel comfortable to bring up the whole problem again. And it seems like he doesn't want to talk to me either. I just want us to be okay again, like the old times, before college starts. But I don't how to start. Any advice or help?

afraid i'm gonna lose her forever....

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 05:19:50 +0100

been spending nearly 10 years standing on the sidelines of life, hoping maybe she would one day love me. but now it looks like i'm gonna lose her forever and i don't want that to happen. dammit i'm so scared!

the worst part is-- she's never known how i felt about her.

i'm a writer and let's just say i recently turned my life story into a screenplay. look for it to come to a theater near you soon.

I know it's not just me, but...

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 16:58:49 +0100

So the economical situation is obviously affecting more people than me, and I thought I would somehow be immune to it...but SURPRISE!- it's hit me now too.

I'm a very independant person(some would say too independant), and for some reason have a problem relying on others for ANYTHING. If I can't take care of myself, I feel absolutely lost. And right now, I'm starting to feel like I will never get ahead of the game again. All the things I want to do seem so far away from me now, whereas a year ago, anything seemed possible. Everyone's telling me to be patient, and things will come with time but...I feel like a horse with a carrot on a string in front of my face being led around circles in the pasture.

I never thought of myself as materialistic but I've come to realize that it's not so much about having nice things, but more about the feeling of SECURITY. It's new to me to feel this way, but I'm sure it's old news for others. I just want to know...what do you do to keep going every day when it feels as though things will never look up again??

In theory, I know to "think positively" but really, I can't find the drive for that, or the drive for anything for that matter. I feel like I'm working impossibly hard, and coming out just barely above the surface of the water. I know I still have my health, and I should be thankful for what I have...and I am. But happiness to me is being able to to the things I want...to have freedom. And I don't mean shopping extensively or anything...I just feel frustrated because when I'm walking in the city and say, I want a cup of coffee, I have to think of my budget and calculate if I can really afford it. And now I don't know what to do. Suck it up, I suppose, like the rest of the world....